


Crushed By His (alter?) Ego

by Solania



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Detention, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Rivalry, Lockhart being a pain, Slytherins Being Slytherins, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 03:38:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15963893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solania/pseuds/Solania
Summary: Based on two Tumblr prompts: “What- what are you doing? Why are you winking?” "“I thought you hated me?"Harry and Draco in detention with Lockhart, or how suffering can bring ennemies together.





	Crushed By His (alter?) Ego

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first fanfiction in English and on this website. I am deeply sorry for my mistakes, this is not my native language.  
> Anyway, this story is based on two prompts from this prompt list on Tumblr, created by the great Savannah.  
> Enjoy!

Harry sighted, writing an umpteenth thank you card. His fingers were sore from holding the quill, and he had lilac ink all over his hands. A growling noise rose at the back of the room as a blond head emerged from behind a desk.

“Tell me again why I have to clean while Potter gets to sit and write? This is so unfair!” Whined Malfoy.  
Professor Lockhart looked up, his hand in the air over the pictures he had been signing.  
“Come on Draco! My painted-selves have been complaining about all the dust there's in this room. Someone has to do it.” He moved his arm extravagantly in the direction of the canvases, and five or six Lockharts nodded approvingly.

The Slytherin boy sneered. “Yeah, someone. And it should have been Potter, he's much more experimented. See, professor, I have a House-Elf. Malfoys don't CLEAN. Wait until my father hears about this...” He was still standing up, fists on his hips.  
“Oh, my dear Draco. You're so funny!” The Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher threw a wide, shining smile at his student, and got back to signing his pictures. 

Draco raised an eyebrow, looking half-disgusted, half-offended. His eyes met Harry's, and for once, his annoyance was not directed at the Gryffindor. Malfoy eventually got back to his cleaning, a broom in one hand. Harry almost felt sorry for him, thinking that they could have at least let him use magic to do his chores. But hey, Malfoy had it coming. He had hexed Harry in the middle of a corridor, sending him against a wall. Obviously, Harry had to react, and as soon as he had gotten on his feet, he had casted a good old expelliarmus on his opponent. It was an understatement to say that Minerva McGonagall had not been pleased with their behaviour.

So, there they were, at 10 in the evening in Lockhart's office, suffering as the famous wizard kept telling them incredible stories of his greatest achievements. And by Merlin, there were lots of those stories, enough to fill many more books and to bore Harry to death. His head was aching after two hours of storytelling and Lockhart's voice was making his ears ring. Malfoy might be complaining but at least he was not sitting next to this insufferable man.

“The troll was ten meters tall Harry, no one had ever seen anything like it. The mayor was so grateful, you have no idea. They gifted me the golden cup that's on the dresser, there. He's writing to me every month now, I'm telling you, Harry, fame is not easy.”

The boy was not even pretending to listen any more, mindlessly writing notes. A displeased voice came from the back of the room, again.

“Ewww, damn spiders! Ewww!!! shoo, go away!”

Harry chuckled at the exclamation. The response was immediate, as the Slytherin promptly got up, throwing him a nasty look.

“What's funny, Potter?”  
“Well, like Lockhart said, you're so funny, my dear Draco”. He answered jokingly.  
Teasing Malfoy would be his only distraction from this awful detention, so he'd better do it as much as possible.

“Come on, boys, no need to be petty. I'll give both of you signed copies of my last book, don't worry. There's no need to fight.” their teacher cheerfully said.  
A look of pure despair was painted on Malfoy's face. He glanced at Harry, his eyes begging for this moment to end. He raised his voice again.

“Professor, if you're going to make me clean this room with my bare hands – which, by the way, is probably some sort of child abuse – you could at least give me something for the spiders. There's no way I'm touching them.” His tone sounded very dramatic.

“Oh, that's not wrong.” said Lockhart, shaking his head, his curl moving on his forehead. “I'm so careless sometimes!” He laughed and literally posed, to Harry and Draco's astonishment. Was he expecting a paparazzo to suddenly jump from between two bricks of the wall?  
His irritating voice rose again. “Don't worry, I have some magic insect repellent in my office. I'll go fetch it so you can get rid of those horrible beasts!”.

He stood up so fast that he made Harry jump. After climbing up the stairs, he disappeared behind a wooden door. The Gryffindor's eyes widened when he saw Malfoy running towards him. Was he going to curse Harry again? To his surprise, the blond boy stopped before his desk, and leaned in, whispering.  
“I can't take this any more. I need to get out of here, right now, or I swear I'll put those bloody spiders in his mouth to shut him up. But I need your help, I-”  
“Wait, wait, wait!” exclaimed Harry, shocked. “I thought you hated me? And now you're asking for my help?”  
“I hate him more, okay? Seriously Potter, we don't have time for that!” His grey eyes were focused on the door. “I'll give you a signal, I just need you to distract him, I'll take care of the rest, just- just wait for the signal and distract him!”

The door above them opened with a creak, and Malfoy ran back to the corner of the room.  
Lockhart walked down the stairs and went to give a metallic spray to the young boy, advising him not to use it too much. When he sat next to Harry and started talking again, The Boy Who Lived realised that if they did not act soon, he would have survived Voldemort just to die here of boredom.

He glanced at his classmate, curious to see what he had in mind. From under a table, Malfoy was watching Harry and making a weird face. What was he..? 

“What- what are you doing? Why are you winking?” asked Harry out loud, frowning.

The Slytherin slapped his hand on his forehead. There was no way someone so stupid had defeated the Dark Lord thanks to his talent. It had to be luck. And fortunately indeed, Lockhart had not heard Harry, too busy babbling. Draco raised his head and winked again, looking pissed. Harry was clueless. But then he saw Malfoy's hand on his wand.

“Professor, look, here!” Said the Gryffindor, pointing to the ceiling. Lockhart's raised his eyes, falling for Harry's act.  
At the back of the class, the blond boy quickly shook his wand, silently moving his lips.

Behind Lockhart, a small painting was on the floor, resting against a wall. It started to lean forward, and fell. Had it just been this small painting, nothing would have happened. But its right side was stuck behind a much, much bigger painting, which happened to be right behind Lockhart. The big canvas fell too, straight on the teacher, ripping on the back of the chair. Lockhart was stuck under the painting, blinded by the shredded pieces. Malfoy and Harry exchanged a glance, and bolted in the direction of the exit. As they got out of the room, they could hear their teacher's voice.  
“Don't worry! I totally saw it coming. I could have stopped it, I just-”

They ran in the corridors, both laughing out loud. The best part was that they would not even be punished for this. Lockhart would never, ever confess to anyone about what had happened. There was no way he would tell someone about how he – the greatest wizard of all times – had gotten stuck under a painting, even worst, a painting of himself! Malfoy had made the perfect Slytherin move, only possible thanks to Harry's bold and successful attempt to distract Lockhart.

Eventually they stopped in the entrance hall and Harry went for the stairs, while Draco walked up to the door leading to the dungeons. The two boys stopped and turned around. They exchanged one last glance, their eyes sparkling with the grins they were trying to keep off of their faces. Without a word, they headed to their common rooms.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little story. Please don't hesitate to leave kudos or a review if you liked it. I'm currently working on longer stories, but I don't know if I'm going to post them, so I would really appreciate feedback, even negative, to know if it's worth posting my other writings. If you noticed mistakes please let me know so I can correct them!  
> Thank you!


End file.
